pretty ugly...yeah.
didn't care though. wore baggy old clothes and looked fat. but that was just my ugly old shell. at 9, i didn't need to look nice.
exotic reminds me of the city of new york. its pavements glittered in the brightness of the million streetlights and those movie-ads that hang from buildings... TOYS-R-US...it was so big...but i couldn't buy anything...not because we couldn't afford it...i'm sure we could hve bought a single barbie's dress or a token puppy keyring... but we sorely needed the money for europe...
the doll's house...i still remember it...it was a complete house with ceiling fans and even a stable with a brown horse and a white foal with a grey tail which had a pink ribbon...i'm going to buy it sometime...when i don't need it but still want it a lot...
central park... those hot dogs stands that i knew so well from hbo or starmovies or cartoon network...the thrill to actually order from them...say "three please - one with ketchup and mustard, one with extra ketchup no mustard and one with just a spot of ketchup thank you" ...the quarters tinking in my hands...not shiny ones but old used ones...and the hotel room with a big window which had a view of the fire escape of the next hotel... exotic!
even more exotic was europe!!! saw a lot of the world for a 9 yr old in 2002... my favourite place was the university island in venice...if you stared hard at the water near the constantly creaking white rotting bridge (i hope they've changed it by now) you can see masses of little, black, wiggly tadpoles... st. mark's square : sharing pizza with my parents, and their aquaintances - lovely greek/italian women in red skirts and a man named friebel, i think.
i sat with a slice and looked at an old man with a dog. non-responsive. i wanted to pet it. but it didn't come. i said i was ugly, didn't i?? even the dog thought so.
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